Greetings, readers, writers and lurkers. There’s been a slight hiatus in these Wednesday notes and an influx of fresh faces. There are over 200 of us now, and we’re too big for the back room of a pub where I usually imagine hanging out with you. Therefore, I am shopping for castles where we can have a hog roast, falafel hut and a full bar staffed by a sarcastic steward.
Castles for sale
In theory, getting our hands on a castle shouldn’t be a problem. There are over 4,000 of the blighters in the UK, cemented to an island that’s just 300 miles across at its widest point and 600 miles in length. Also, money is no object as we are not planning to buy it. We’re merely borrowing it (mentally) for this newsletter.
So, I started at Savills, which specialises in country houses.1 After all, that’s what a castle is once you’ve reinforced the walls, sorted out the moat and beheaded a few enemies. They had ten listed for sale, including private islands, working estates, walled gardens and designer interiors. However, they lacked the mythic touch demanded by the discriminating readers of this newsletter. We’re here to be entertained, not stranded on a cold loch in Scotland.
Since it’s October and everyone loves a ghost story, I turned my attention to occupied mansions. Anything over a hundred years old has to have a tragedy. It’s a cast-iron tradition, similar to driving sheep over London Bridge (thank you, Damien Lewis). So I went on a search for Britain’s Most Haunted Castle.
Now, according to Google, the most heavily advertised one is Chillingham Castle in Northumberland, which has two certified ghost stories and several other apparitions. It’s also appeared on the BBC, Fox Family Channel, and several movies, so the ghosts are not particularly shy. The downside is that neither are the tourists, with two ghost tours a day going on.
Inspiration struck and I decided to try English Heritage, who knows a bit about historic monuments. They own 400 of them, after all. They recommend Bolsover in Derbyshire, where sightings are so common, the staff keeps a ghost book for visitors to add their entries. It’s a lavish affair with haunted ruins, an intact ‘little castle’ for rainy days and fountain gardens.
The best bit? English Heritage have been known to let groups in on special occasions (so, no bloody cameramen from Britain Most Haunted). There’s even a circular Cavalier's catwalk where we can all strut our stuff in the evening.
So, if you want a getaway in October, pick up this newsletter and imagine yourself in Bolsover.
Using fear as a writing benchmark
It’s October, so we have several writing competitions and a pile of horror fiction coming our way. This got me thinking about the creative use of fear for writer.
Tim Denning is right. Not just about your dreams but also about where we can find creative opportunities. People always talk about ‘following your passion’ or ‘exploring your curiosity.’ But if you want to do anything worthwhile or memorable, you should follow your fear. It’s the flip side of curiosity, the thing you shrink from and, therefore, the one place where you can write with visceral honesty.
I will also guarantee that whatever this fear is, someone else will feel it with you. We’re not that original (thank the gods), and there are only so many things we can be scared of.
Fear of failure.
Fear of violence
Fear of being diminished.
Fear of being ostracized
Fear of looking stupid.
Fear of death.
Fear is not stupid, but it can be repeated so often that the lie stops us from seeing things clearly. Pressing publish on that fear is the most scary thing you can do - because it exposes you. It’s also the most powerful thing you can do, and some of the best writing I have been privileged to read has come from it.
This October, flip your curiosity and write about what scares you.
Notes from the Stack
I’d be a hypocrite, not to mention this after talking about fear. All entries need to be in by Monday 21st, and we will get to read the winners on Halloween.
This made me twitch.
Fortunately, my kids are Gen Alpha and more interested in parties.
This email’s already too long for a microstory, but you will get a great little gem from me this weekend about a haunted chess set.
Have a great week.
Nat
This did get me wondering; how on earth do the agents appraise these estates? With one listing - a cheeky little 7-bed in Perth - the castle has not been on the market in 237 years. You can’t exactly look it up on RightMove and see what
Lol. I would love to hire one for a writer's weekend retreat. I wonder if we could get enough people here on Substack to make it viable?
You never know, Natalie, some day you might buy one of them castles! Or, maybe haunt one. 👻👻👻